OK, today I wanted to discuss my two favorite online comics. Both of them are set in high school. Both of them have main characters who are transgendered girls. However, after that the similarities end. Lean on Me involves Yun, a long legged, pretty girl who pretty much stays to herself until she meets Lisa, who immediately takes to Yun, and a friendship, which obviously must blossom into a relationship ensues. Underlying the sweet romance style are several questions about sexuality which are never answered in any complete way. Is Lisa a lesbian, or a girl who enjoys the company of very feminine men? Is Yun transgendered to the point where she will ultimately have surgery? Is she "straight" in the sense that she likes guys, and Lisa is an aberration? The questions are left hanging. And that is not bad. As in the movie "Chasing Amy" the point is the meeting of the person who "gets you".

There are a few things about "Lean On Me" that are frustrating...as I wrote in an e-mail to the artist, the struggle that Yun's parents have with her sexuality is glossed over too quickly. The other problem is that the story comes out very irregularly. Especially in the second story (which focuses more on another character) there have been breaks of weeks at a time between strips, leaving the reader to wonder what comes next.

The other, Venus Envy is much less romantic, definitely a few shades darker in tone. and far more willing to adress the family issues that go along with all this gender stuff. Zoe has recently moved to a new town with her brother and parents. Her brother is resentful for having to move for the needs of her "faggy brother", she has a talent in soccer...for getting hit in the head at the moment her team needs that to happen, has developed two enemies without trying that hard. Other than that things are wonderful. The other nice thing is that the author, Erin Lindsey, is much more diligent about putting out her work. She has her strips prepared in advance, when she has some time off, she invites friends to act as guest artists, and never thakes a break so long that the reader loses interest in the story.

Since I live alone anyhow, I have often considered the personal benefits of a kind of secular lay monasticism. I know these ideas seem, if not outrightly contradictory, at least somewhat at odds. What i am thinking of however, is a kind of measuring of the hours of life in study, meditation, thought and creativity that is self-imposed, with a rule that is not imposed by an order, but by a conscious reflection on the benefits that this kind of life might bring. I do from time to time think of meeting someone, perhaps marrying, enjoying the companionship that such a relationship might bring, but I am also someone who is keenly aware of her own idiosyncracies. I was watching a documentary by Ken Burns about Thomas Jefferson, and during the portion of it when Jefferson was in Paris, he had met a married woman with whom he had a brief (seemingly chaste) relationship. During that time, he wrote a dialogue between head and heart with which I can fully commiserate. The difference between Jefferson and myself is that he seemed to have that Clintonian ability to "compartmentalize" the life of the head from the life of the heart, whereas in me thay are more closely intertwined.

I do not like living alone. I don't think it is good for me in any way. However, the only thing that would be worse is to share my life with someone who does not "get me" Therefore I consider the life of reading, reflection, meditation and study, forming the core of a life around which orbits the subsidiary matters of my existence. Unlike Jefferson, head and heart remain in me a thing intertwined. I do not surrender the hope of sharing a love with another. Until that day, art, beauty, thought, and contemplation remain my constant companions.

In a previous post I had said that a good companion to National Coming Out Day would be National Reconciliation Day. On that day, GLBT folks who have broken relationships because of issues of sex/gender might want to try to mend fences. It does not matter "who started it". Whether mother, father, sister, brother, friend, what have you, I think we need to build bridges of understanding. Help the other person get beyond their anger by reaching out. Get beyond our own anger by offering understanding of pain, if not forgiveness. Offer apologies for our own insensitivity, if that is an issue.

When i came out to some members of my family, I handled it in a bad way. I don't feel badly for coming out in the least, but I do know I messed up in the manner in which I did it.

Perhaps it is the thought of impending war, but there is just too large a stock of bitterness in the world. It needs to be decreased in individual lives before it can happen in a planetary way.

I don't know who gets to declare days. So I will. I, Emily, hereby declare Sunday, November 24, 2002, to be National Reconciliation Day. Make peace in your world so that there may be peace in the world.

argh....one of my posts from earlier was deleted...ah, the magic of the internet...

Yesterday I posted a brief memorial to Senator Paul Wellstone who was killed in a plane crash this past Friday. I have a few more thoughts on this not at all lengthy, but ones I hope you will consider

1-Vote. If you were on planning on blowing off your trip to the voting booth a week from Tuesday, I hope you will reconsider. There may be a budding Paul Wellstone running in your district who may be your vote away fdrom winning.

2-Donate. There may be a week to go, but if you get a donation out NOW, especially if you use the Internet, it may be enough to make a difference to a candidate who is fighting the good fight.

3-Run. Are you are an idealist like Wellstone? You are needed. There is one less in public life today, and he needs to be replaced... well, no one can really replace him, but someone needs to pick up the banner and carry it forward.

Forget the flowers. This is the only fitting tribute to an activist. Resting in peace is Paul's privilege now. It is not yours.

In memoriam
Paul Wellstone
United States Senator
From your service, may we learn to serve

Well. the Hartford Courant predictably made its endorsement for governor today. Well, the joys of self-publishing include the right to make your own endorsements...so here goes.

Governor: Bill Curry(D) (running against incumbent John Rowland(R)) On the issue of public transportation alone, which I strongly favor improving, Curry would be the choice. But Curry also favors overhauling an antiquated property tax system. He would work on making state universities more affordable, rather than just putting up building after building with bonded money, buildings which may be abandoned if tuition rises further and further out of reach of the middle income student. Curry also seems to be amenable to take bolder action in many areas than just about any Democrat since...uh...since...well, I'll think of someone.

Attorney General: Richard Blumenthal(D-incumbent) (running against Martha Dean(R)) Blumenthal is not beyond criticism...the suit against Microsoft is just plain silly. But most of what this attorney general has done has made life better for people in ths state, even if it is in behind the scenes ways that most people don't appreciate.

Secretary of the State: Ron SanAngelo (R-challenger) (running against Susan Bysiewicz(D-incumbent) I don't usually vote a straight ticket, and in this case Bysiewicz is the odd Democrat out. She has ambitions for higher office, and she is the one Democrat I do NOT want to see rise any further. In her first campaign she lied about her primary opponent's record saying that Ellen Scalletar opposed Connecticut's version of Megan's law (a law which makes sex offenders register and have their names publicized) Scalletar had concerns as to whether the law was constitutional...she did not oppose the basic idea of the law, but the bill as it was written. As it turns out, one portion of the law has been declared unconstitutional, thus bearing out Scalletar's objections. Second...what on earth does Megan's law have to do with being Secretary of the State anyhow? Nothing.
Ron SanAngelo would not have challenged a judge's decision in August opening up the primary process to anyone, which, despite dire predictions to the contrary. did not lead to long lines at Trinity street consisting of every nutball candidate in existence. SanAngelo stood up for democracy in this case, which is the one function of this office that separates it from being a glorified file clerk.Susan Bysiewicz did not.

Briefly:
Nancy Wyman(D) for comptroller, and Denise Nappier(D) for treasurer. Wyman keeps the governor honest. Nappier restored the office after the last guy wound up getting sent to prison.

Jim Maloney (D) for Congress. Two mediocre candidates. Maloney voted against the war, Johnson voted for it. That's about it. They are both hacks, and this is the endosement I am least enthusiastic about.

Elizabeth Boukus (D) for state representative. A decent, reliable representative. One complaint:not active enough...someone needs to light a fire under her.

Tom Colapietro (D) for state senate. Another hack...the only reason I'm voting for him is to keep Rowland at bay.

(the probate judge, Heidi Famigletti, is running unopposed)

ok, on a once a month basis only, I'm gonna do a shameless plug. I'm looking to leave my "beloved" (ACK!!!!) state of Connecticut, pay off some outstanding medical bills, and complete a paralegal course which will allow me to make more money so I will have a more secure future in my new location.

I simply ask you to consider making a donation. If you go down to Borders or Barnes and Noble and drop five bucks down for a magazine, just think about doing the same here. I will continue offering you the best content I can. If you can't swing donating anything right now, but you have your own personal website, please at least consider putting up a link. That would be a wonderful way to show your appreciation.

As I said, this will be a once a month thing only. I will be doing it on or about the first of the month only from this time forward. The link to Paypal is below. Thanks.

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Which Rainbow Brite kid are you? By Growing.

OK, by necessity this one has to be a quickie, as I must be on my way to work soon. (perhaps the one thing I won't miss about human services when I become a paralegal...the obnoxious, irregular hours...it will be nice to share a common weekend with the rest of humanity) Yesterday afternoon I hung out with my sister, talked about her frustrations with a guy she had been seeing, and now wants back into her life. It was a good afternoon, just enjoying conversation, visiting an art store...

I am itching to spend some time, if only an afternoon, outside of Connecticut. Something about crossing a border puts me in an entirely different frame of mind.

17 more days to election day...more thoughts on that to come.

Last night as I was driving home from work I was listening to Bruce Williams and he was discussing voters who don't know... well... anything. He suggested that there be at least some basic awareness test for people to be eligible to vote. Normally I only only listen to Williams to amuse myself, as I agree with him on nothing, but, as they say, a stopped clock is right twice a day, and this was his moment. Let me tell you why I agree with him.

Several years ago I was involved in a campaign for governor, and I was doing some last minute campaigning outside one of the polling places on election day. As I was standing there a man came up, looking confused. He asked me why he didn't see Barbara Kenelly on the ballot. (At that time, Kenelly had been in a mini-scandal involving taking some trips at lobbyist's expense)
Me:Barbara Kenelly is not your congresswoman. Nancy Johnson is.
Him: But I wanted to vote against her...how do I do that?
Me: If you live in this town, you can't. This is the sixth district.
(pause)
Him: But she's the representative from Connecticut, isn't she?
Me: (amazed by this time) There are six different districts in Connecticut. Each has their own representative.
You have to live in Barbara Kenelly's district to vote for or against her.
Him:(still confused) Uh...ok...(walks away)

This man had no idea who his member of Congress had been...FOR THE PAST EIGHT YEARS!!!! And he had just been allowed into a voting booth.

I'll go Bruce Williams one better. I think there should be a test at the end of high school. In this test (which is NOT multiple choice) you identify your state representative, state senator, member of the house of representatives, both US senators, the president, and one right citizens have under the constitution. If you get a 100, you graduate. If not, you, don't.

Call me an elitist. I KNOW I'm right.

yeeek...did not get to post yesterday, just too much to do. It's a chilly, cold rainy day today, the kind of day which screams "Stop! pull up the covers and snuggle!"

I finally received my first e-mail from someone responding to my weblog from a very friendly and intelligent man named Robert. I am not going to make him the e-mail of the week as of yet, as I wish to have more than one to choose from. That is where you come in. Please click on the link at the left side of the screen, or type in the following adress: thoreaugreen@hipplanet.com Thanks.

When i was visiting Thich Nhat Hahn's Plum Village site yesterday, I found out that he has a retreat center near White River Junction, Vermont, and this is not a terribly long drive for me. I still have some more work to be done on my car before I would feel comfortable driving that distance, but once I do, I plan on making a visit there for one of the "mindfulness days" he has there.

Once more, please respond. I'd love to hear from you.

I went to a Buddhist service this morning, and borrowed a book by Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese monk who lives in exile in France. I find myself absloutely enraptured by this man.

As I was reading his writing, this thought came to me: as a companion to national coming out day, there also needs to be a national reconciliation day. The news that a friend is queerly oriented can be a shock, especially for our more conventional friends and relatives. Coming out is a good idea, but we do not always handle it well. On national reconciliation day, I suggest that we try to repair relationships with family and friends who did not handle things well. Not by apologizing for who we are, but by apologizing for how we may have been insensitive (if that is the case) or by offering resources (such as p-flag) to aid in understanding. Allies might act as bridges between the estranged.

I love peace. I need peace. But if I want peace in the wider world, I must BE peace.

A final thought on national coming out day (today):
"I would rather be hated for what I am than be loved for what I am not."
Andre Gide

Well, because of juggling my schedule, I have a day off from work today. I must say that this is nice.

No deep philosophical thoughts today, not at this point anyway. I'm gonna go to the bank, buy myself a nice sweater I had my eyes on when I went shopping with my sister...see a movie, relax

It is rainy and cold today, I had hoped for a noce clear day, but I will make the best of it nevertheless.

Well, Jim Maloney, surprised me and I do have to give credit where credit is due. He voted against the war, which I am sure he will take some heat for in the closing days of this congressional campaign. I am not completely at ease with him as my member of congress, but this guy who is in the fight of his political life took what might be a quite unpopular stand. He may lose because of it. He secured my vote tonight. He showed his courage. Thank you, Jim.

In my last post i realized that i forgot to put up my email address... thoreaugreen@hipplanet.com You can also click on the link to contact me on the left side of the screen.

to start: please e-mail me! Until I upgrade and get stats, this is the only wayI know this site is being read. Plus, this will be your chance at fame! well...not really. But you might be chosen as my e-mail of the week, and find yourself on this site.

In my congressional district two incumbents are running against each other. The Democrat, Jim Maloney, is still undecided about the war with Iraq. I guess he is still figuring out which position will get him the most votes in a few weeks. Mr. Maloney, the purpose of an opposition is to...oppose. Otherwise I regard you as useless.

One day left until national coming out day.

The Carolina Hurricanes (formerly my beloved Hartford Whalers) lost their first game last night. So far this team has been the "class" of a very weak division. If the rest of the division starts to revive will anyone even acknowledge being a fan of the team? I predict no. If they are not in playoff contention, the Canes will be abandoned faster than you can say "Duke Blue Devils".

a few thoughts: Today I was in a waiting area looking at an issue of Vogue. I would say there were two remarkable things you would notice: It was thicker than most telephone directiories.... second, it has a higher percentage of ads than just about any magazine you will see.

I do think that here needs to be some sort of Consumer's Report for fashion, or that magazine needs to take up the task itself. I found myself utterly astonished at what passes for fashionable. There was a coat that looked as if it were made out of a quilted Hefty bag. Many dresses looked as if they would fall apart in any strong wind. (Not to worry: there were underwear ads aplenty so that you will be wearing the most fashionable bra when the clothes do fall apart.) One of the models was wearing eyeshadow that resembled gilded spackle.

Fashion at that level is not intended to be entirely functional, of course. It is intended for rich, naive young women to buy so they can convince themselves of their stylishness while providing a good laugh to the rest of us. And there were exceptions. One designer came up with outfits that will look as good ten years from now as they do today, and as appropriate on a forty year old as a twenty year old. This is the true definition of the word "timeless".

Clothing of this kind goes beyond the cliched little black dress, and I like touches of whimsy as much as any other woman. But the most attractive clothes need to function, and other than a wedding dress or Halloween costume, function more than once. I for one am not willing to dress up for Halloween as a quilted Hefty bag, considering the costume would set me back a grand.

a quick thought i encountered reading yesterday:

"Don't compromise yourself. You are all you got."....Janis Joplin

friday is national coming out day...

OK, here goes: Imagine you were born in 1950. From the time you are five years old, when some of your earliest memories took place, there were two realities: prosperity and the Bomb. Sputnik went up, and the security of two oceans disappeared. When you were twelve years old, war almost broke out. But still the prosperity continues. In 1963, you are 13 years old, and the President is killed. A measure of security and continuity is established when Johnson is elected, but it does not last long. This president, who has assured you that victory is just around the corner,has to eat his words when the Tet offensive occurs. Four years after winning with one of the largest landslides ever, the President withdraws from seeking a second full term. By 1970 the strains are starting to show on the economy. In 1973 the arab oil embargo comes. gas lines around the block. In 1974, the first American president resigns in disgrace. In 1975, the last American helicopter leaves Saigon. America has lost its first war. The Bomb is still there, mounted on missiles that can reach you on twenty minutes. Prosperity is a distant memory.

It is 1975. You are twenty-five years old.

Let us consider another area of your life, unmentioned till now. Unless you lived in a Jewish enclave, spirituality was Christianity, and Christianity was spirituality. If you were at all typical, you attended services or mass weekly. You went and everyone you knew did so as well. You may have heard of Buddhists or Muslims, but they lived "over there". If you knew none personally, even Jews seemed a bit foreign. Even though you knew there was no official religion, Christianity was as ubiquitous as the air. You cannot help but soak up what is being said every Sunday, even if your family does not take it particularly seriously. When the Supreme Court says that there can be no prayer in public schools you hear all about you complain about God being "kicked out" of the schools. (Amazing the idea that an omnipotent being can be "kicked" anywhere.)

The combination of enculturation and insecurity has made you ripe for the picking. You know that these 25 years have sped by, and that in another 25, it will be the year 2000. Even in the secularized world you now inhabit, the implications of the millenium haunt you more now, considering that you have traversed half the distance from the year of your birth to that fateful year.

Then someone comes up to you and asks you if you know Jesus. You are convinced you are seeking truth, but in reality you are seeking security and this guy is offering it, big time. He sets the hook, invites you to his church, and reels you in.

If you were born in 1950, you were born in the midst of the baby boom. Millions share an experience and encounter with history as you have. As more and more people embrace evangelical Christianity, they separate off into their own enclaves, set up their own schools, and except at work, associate and socialize only with their own kind. Their children get a heavy dose of the same theology.

In this time, especially after September 11, there is another heavy dose of insecurity. There will be another temptation to embrace an easy "truth" than to use the minds I believe we were given by God. This dark age of ignorance did not avert this tragedy. Only thoughtfulness, reason, and lovingkindness will possibly avert another.

well, one of my earlier posts disappeared into the ether and to where it went, I don't know.. I just got out of work, and in a few minutes will be kicking back on chat before going to bed...if I have time tomorrow, I will be posting a few thoughts as to why people embrace fundie religions...my earlier post was a really cool rhapsodizing regarding autumn in New England...I just hope it isn't permanently vanished. Too tired right now to try to reconstitute it.

ok...I'm going to repeat something over the next few days...bear with me...it's important...

note: are you transgendered? or orherwise queerly oriented? Are you keeping it a big, bad dark scary secret? Friday is national coming out day. Come out. Dress appropriately. And if you are straighter than a ruler, but know someone who might be afraid they might lose your friendship or love because of who they are, tell them that they are cool, and you are their friend, period.

I just called my member of Congress to express my opposition to the war with Iraq. All I can say folks is that as inevitable as war may seem, these bastards in Congress work for us, and there is an election exactly one month away. rarely do we have the opportunity to act while an outrage is still so fresh in our minds. I do think that the resolution for war will pass...but if members who vote for this are turned out by the busload, those who remain or replace them will wet their pants with fear that if they don't get right on the issue, they will be next. I know no one personally who supports this, but that may be attributable to like minds hanging out...but in the chat rooms i go in, there are very few who support war either, and these rooms tend to be free-for-alls where anyone of any stripe is welcome. Noam Chomsky wrote a book a few years ago entitled "Manufacturing Consent", and i think this might be an apt description of what is happening here.

At the center of whatever support there is for this conflict is fear. Since 911/01 there is a seed of real fear which is reasonable, however Bush and the boys have taken this seed and watered it, tended it, and nurtured it to the point where it is unreasonable. How? They did so by issuing vague "heightened states of alert". Then they came up with their silly color codes which make for great PR, but don't give anyone the slightest idea what they should be doing about it. What..."we have reached full periwinkle alert!!!!Head for the hills!!!" What if the hills is where the terrorists are?

And then there was the anniversary itself. Wall to wall coverage. Whatever equanimity might have returned to the minds of the people was once more disturbed. And then the next day Bush starts the full PR move for his war.

Those of us who oppose this insanity will certainly be labeled agitators. Consider the meaning of the word, and realize who the real agitators are.

the essential emily: number one...if you can't deal with transgendered stuff, hit the eject button, or whatever it's called. Leave. Go away. You have been warned. number two: I am opposed to war. Period. That is what many of my rants here will be about. number three: I will occasionally rhapsodize about the works of Henry David Thoreau (the world's best dead thinker) Gore Vidal (the world's best living thinker) Allen Ginsberg (the world's best dead poet) and Charles Simic (the world's best living poet). number four: I love comics. The best are Zippy the Pinhead, The Boondocks, and an online comic called Venus Envy. number five: the sports season starts when the first puck is dropped at a hockey game, and ends when the Stanley Cup is handed out. Don't talk to me about other sports. There are no other sports. Only pathetic hockey wannabes. number six: God is not what you think. number seven: The republicans and democrats suck...but vote anyway. number seven: in the end, only kindness matters. number eight: my sister is better than your sister. Guaranteed. Not that yours isn't cool, but I have the best. Deal with it. number nine: If I'm not here, I'm on Cape Cod. number ten: you are not what everyone tells you you are.

So there are the basic facts about me. There will be more to tell at some futire time, but this will give you a thumbnail sketch of the person I am.

note: are you transgendered? or orherwise queerly oriented? Are you keeping it a big, bad dark scary secret? Friday is national coming out day. Come out. Dress appropriately. And if you are straighter than a ruler, but know someone who might be afraid they might lose your friendship or love because of who they are, tell them that they are cool, and you are their friend, period.

Please use the e-mail button. I'd like to hear from you.

I have spent the last few days bemused by the coming war. It just seems so inevitable at this point. grrr....
In my next post, I will likely do an intro. Bye for now.